Dah-dunt. Dah-dunt. Dah-dah....

No, thank you! That was my thought after trying on swimsuits today. Ick! I love summer. I used to love going to the pool. I wouldn't say I have a fear of it now. Although, I think the Jaws theme song started playing in my head as I entered the swimsuit department. Here's the thing. I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin, until I have to basically put on underwear-like contraptions and then go walk around in public as though I am fully dressed. Now I know many people dread it. I am sure some people just flat out avoid it. I do not want to do that though for several reasons. Believe me I have several reasons to be fine with not going at all, but honestly I have one very important reason that makes me want to go eventually. My daughter Blake. Here I have this sweet little girl who is more than thrilled to get in the water. She's going to start some swim classes soon. She actually says "I can't wait!" in an excited tone just to go get in the bathtub! Although she calls it the "baff" tub. So stinking cute!

Anyways, I want to go enjoy the pool with her this summer. I want her to experience all the fun I had as a kid. I was at the pool daily. You know who else was there? My mom. She wore swimsuits and didn't complain about her body. I don't want to go hide in the shadows or give Blake some weird body complex. Well, I tried on some suits today that were a no-go. I only went to one store though. Maybe I should check out some maternity suits because I am 10 weeks pregnant. But before you stop me there, I would have these insecurities pregnant or not. I am not going to complain about my weight because, well, if you think you are bigger than me, you will want to tell me to shut up. If you are in better shape or have no swimsuit anxiety, you'll say stop complaining and do something about it. It is a little bit of a weight issue though because I am no longer what I once was. On top of that, I hate these veins in my legs from too many years of working retail. High heels all day on a wood floor, moving merchandise, and unloading trucks did a disastrous job on legs that used to be seen in a miniskirt. Oh well. Some day I'll probably get them lasered. Some day I better not always be progressing in a pregnancy. Hence, I just want 2 or 3 kids, not decades of pregnancies. Hmmm...what to do right now though?

First step, more walking (in good shoes) and squeezing in any exercise I can. I think I eat well, but I know I do not get enough exercise. Maybe join the gym again? Next step, continue to wade into the water of swimsuit shopping until I find something as comfortable as possible to wear. I won't be going to the pool probably this weekend, but within this month. So I am on the prowl for a good suit. Cue up that Jaws music again! This time because I am on the hunt though...not because I will be letting any fears get in my way of having a great summer.